Starting School with Multiples

Sending twins, triplets, or more off to school is a big milestone, one filled with excitement, questions, and maybe a few nerves! While multiples share a special bond, starting school can be an emotional adjustment, particularly when it comes to managing separation anxiety and fostering their individual identities. With a little preparation, you can help make the transition smoother for everyone.

Managing separation anxiety

It’s natural for kids to feel anxious when they’re starting something new, especially if your multiples haven't been to daycare full-time or are starting school in separate classes. Here are some ways to ease their transition:

• Discuss it in advance: Prepare them by explaining what school will be like, discussing their daily routine, and reassuring them that they’ll see each other at breaks

• Create 'connection rituals': A special handshake, a picture in their lunchbox, or a small token they can keep with them can provide comfort when they're finding it hard to settle in a new environment

• Gradual separation practice: If possible, set up playdates or activities where they spend short periods apart from you or each other to build confidence

• Stay positive: Your confidence in their ability to adjust will help reassure them that school is a fun and safe place

Supporting their individual identities

Encouraging each child’s individuality helps them grow into their own person while still valuing their bond as multiples. Here’s how you can help:

• Encourage separate friendships: While they may naturally gravitate toward the same friends, encourage them to explore friendships on their own

• Personalised learning experiences: Allow each child to develop their own interests by joining different extracurricular activities

• Use their names: Avoid referring to them collectively at school (eg, 'the twins' or 'the triplets') to emphasise to their new teachers and friends that they are not a package deal

• Celebrate differences: Acknowledge their distinct strengths, skills, and preferences to help them feel valued as individuals

Practical tips for parents

Having multiple children start school at the same time comes with unique logistical challenges. Here are a few tips to stay organised and reduce stress:

• Label everything: With more than one child, items can easily get mixed up. Clear labeling helps keep things organised. For items that they share, for example clothing that they would each wear at different times, consider labelling with just their last name, to avoid having to double up or assign items to only one child

• Establish a routine: A consistent morning and evening routine can make school days run more smoothly. Prepare for your children to be very tired, particularly towards the end of the week - there may be more meltdowns ahead as they get the hang of their new routine

• Plan individual check-ins: Make time to talk with each child about their day separately to give them space to express their thoughts and experiences

• Communicate with teachers: Keep teachers informed about your children’s needs and any specific challenges they may face. If your multiples are in separate classes there may be some logistical challenges around drop off/pick up, so work with the teachers to create a plan - it's likely that they've taught multiples before and may be able to offer advice and support

Starting school is a significant milestone, and as a parent of multiples, you have the unique challenge of balancing their shared experiences with their individual growth. Embrace the journey, trust your instincts, and celebrate this new chapter!